Since I missed it on Monday due to the Gala madness, I'm combining our weekly Yiddish lesson with the tent pitch, killing two birds mit ayhn shteyn.
Some of you may be familiar with the term "the whole megilleh" but that is a mixed phrase. The expression, tutti a Yiddish, is gantseh megilleh, which means, of course, "the entire thing" or "the whole thing."
It is pronounced [GAHN-tseh meh-GILL-eh] which is pretty much how it's spelled phonetically, but people tend to make things more complicated than they are, so I'm providing the phonetics just in case.
NB: This has nothing to do with gorillas.
Now let us try using the phrase in a few sentences:
- Aaron met him at the Eagle and they seemed to hit it off, but apparently the guy is into the gantseh megillah and Aaron is pretty much vanilla, so it ended there.
- Eddie is such a Chelsea queen. Yesterday he had on the D&G tank top, the Gucci sunglasses, the fake tan; I mean the gantseh megilleh.
- We were at it for hours. He gave me the gantseh megilleh. I don't think I'll shit right for a week.
Labels: hot guys, tent pitch, Yiddish
Posted by: David @ 
Last week I took care of something that I've been meaning to do for a very long time. I set up a living will. No, I have no terminal medical condition or drastic impending procedure that spurred this. I simply have had this on the back-burner since my time volunteering as a visiting companion for terminally-ill patients several years ago. As part of our training, we learned about DNR's and medical proxy assignment, and also living wills.
So for once, when the thought popped into my head and I was actually seated at the computer, I followed through on an "I should really..." and did a quick web search. I popped onto the first site I found that offered the service and set the will up. It took all of about 15 minutes to do. I should be receiving the official documents in the mail by the end of the week.
To me this is a huge addition to my peace of mind. I can think few things more terrifying (outside of yet another Republican administration) than ending up in some vegitative or endlessly terminal condition with no one authorized to pull the plug.
I highly recommend to everyone, no matter how hale and hearty or youthful you may be, to take this easy and affordable step. Not only will it give you peace of mind, it will also take away the burden of any terrible decision making from your loved ones; since what to do will be clearly laid out in a legal document. It will also make clear WHO is to make that decision, preventing any ugly family conflicts.
Or at least lessening such a possibility. You know some people are just always spoiling for a fight regardless of the facts. But, hey, you did your part. The living will part, not the getting-hit-by-the-bus part.
Labels: death, living will, medical stuff
This is what I was hip deep in today. 
This is the tie I wore. 
This is what had me digesting the walls of my stomach for much of the day.
This is the itinerary for the evening. 
This is where we held the event. 
This was the honoree. 
This was the Master of Ceremonies. 
This was the award presenter. 
Who didn't look at all like this in person but was really nice and I totally got to schmooze with her and got her a cab home later. 
This was my own cab fare home (thank god on the company's tab). 
And just to finish things out, this is Lisa. 
And this is Bart. Thank you and good night.
Labels: 12 of 12
Hope you all had a great weekend. I got a call on Saturday from my boss. Our annual fundraising Gala is today (Monday). The Development Assistant, who usually runs a lot of the Gala, had a death in the family and is gone out of town. I will have to take over. So this is it for any posts today. No weekend re-cap, no various other things I was planning to write about. I'm taking a deep breath and diving into the pool. See you all tomorrow.
This is Farhad Z. I don't know anything about him, but really, what more do you need to know?
UPDATE: His full name is Farhad Zamani. Thanks to Hula Hank, I was able to locate his profile on Facebook. Not just a pretty face (and pretty chest and arms and...). I'm quite intrigued now.
A friend pointed me towards a site called Green Porno, which features Isabella Rossellini performing a series of short videos about the sex lives of insects. It has to be one of the weirdest things I've ever seen, but they are also marvelously creative. My favorites are the snail and the bee, although the spider is fun, too.
While not particularly NSFW, the audio might not go over well with your co-workers.
Labels: creativity, porn, videos
If the website I consulted is correct (thanks VUBOQ), I should be getting a fat check from W sometime next month to help stimulate the economy. While I think it's one of the many stupid things this administration has done, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth and intend to make use of it. A portion will be doled out to some of my favorite charities, possibly a bit to the presumptive Democratic nominee, and there is also a rumor that my underwear drawer will be completely restocked.
But I also decided I'd get a few personal training sessions from our favorite Crunch employee, Trainer Kevin. So I chatted with him last night on my way out of the gym and he was all enthused and asked me what my goals for the training sessions would be.
I looked at him blankly.
Goals? Um, I don't have any goals for working out. I go to the gym. I work out. I go home. That's my goal. To me the purpose of a trainer session is to get a super-advanced workout you couldn't do on your own. I mean I have plenty of unrealistic workout goals: to look like an A&F model (without the waxing), to put on 20 pounds of muscle, to be taller.
But after maintaining a regular, and mostly rigorous, workout regimen for nearly 20 years, I have reached the unavoidable conclusion that the body I have is the body I'm going to have regardless of any goals. Unless I get some fresh DNA off of eBay.
So that got me to thinking about goals in general, and the realization that I don't really have any.
I suppose if I had to quantify them, my goals are as follows -
Career goal: Remain employed and make enough money to cover bills and take the odd vacation.
Relationship goal: Remain non-suicidal in the face of my ongoing single-hood.
Creative goal: You're reading it.
But seriously, none of these are goals; they are simply maintenance of the status quo. I don't aspire to any heights in my field. I remain solidly pragmatic regarding my personal life. I don't aspire for this blog to be the next Joe.My.God. I don't have any desire to leave a lasting mark on the world either creatively, philanthropically, or socially.
Yes, of course I have dreams: To travel to Asia and
I suppose I could live even more frugally than I currently do and eliminate any vestiges of a social life for an entire year in order to save the money for a dream vacation.
I suppose I could try and adopt a kid by myself, if I wanted to be selfish and have no regard for the life of the child I would be vainly trying to support.
I suppose I could rob a bank.
I suppose I could be bitten by a radioactive spider.
But when it comes to goals, REALISTIC goals, sorry, the well is dry. I certainly admire others who have goals. I support them and am happy to help them, but I don't share their enthusiasm. I don't have any brilliant ideas that I am burning to turn into reality. I have no "destiny" that I feel I must make manifest.
Not to get too self-deprecating or maudlin, but in my darker moments I have the feeling my true purpose in life is simply to serve as a cautionary tale for others. "Look what he squandered! He had all this potential and did nothing." In my better lit moments I believe I am here to serve as a support for others. My friends and family will achieve and I will be an engine that helps power that machine of achievement. I will honor their relationships, celebrate their triumphs and the epitaph will read "Wasn't he that nice guy that always helped out?"
I think I can live with that.
As you all know, the terrible recent natural disaster in Burma has taken thousands of lives and hundreds of thousands of others are at risk. Most relief efforts are being funneled through the corrupt and brutal military junta that runs the country.
However, Avaaz.org (the group that previously shined an international light on the brutal suppression of the Burmese Monk revolt in September, 2007) has gained access to a grassroots relief effort set up by the International Burmese Monks Association. You can read more about it and make a contribution here.
Don't stand idly by. Don't wring your hands and shake your head. Do something.
Labels: Burma, charity, take action
The weather has blissfully been in the mid-70's the last few days. How I adore not having to wear a coat or jacket. The harbinger of warmer days to come makes me itch for beach weather.
Let's see if any of these fellows warm you up as well (-Hey, nice segue David! -Why thank you!). Hopefully none of them will make you itch, or if they do, at least in a good way.
Labels: hot guys, tent pitch
And it's not even serving as a filler post!
Love this one:
Easy-Listening Songs From the '70s, Rewritten by the Artists After They Had Kids.
BY SUZANNE BROUGHTON
"I Keep Forgettin' to Give You Your Antibiotics" by Michael McDonald
"I'd Really Love to See You Tonight, but My Sitter Was Grounded for 'Inappropriate' Entries on Her MySpace Page" by England Dan and John Ford Coley
"Nobody Does It Better Than Disney" by Carly Simon
"Hey Nineteen, Your Dad and I Are Going to Stop Paying Your College Tuition If You Say 'Simone de Beauvoir' in a Bad French Accent One More Time" by Steely Dan
"I Go Crazy When You Talk in a Robot Voice All Day" by Paul Davis
"You've Got a Friend I Won't Let You Play With Anymore Because Last Time You Were at His House They Let You Watch The Shining and You Didn't Sleep for a Week" by James Taylor
"I Am ... I Said ... and That's the End of the Conversation, Period" by Neil Diamond
"The Cat's in the Cradle ... Check ... the Dog's in the Bathtub ... Check ... Now, Where Did I Put That Baby?" by Harry Chapin
McSweeney's is here.Labels: humor, McSweeneys
Last Saturday night I went to the Eagle to support a friend who is part of Team Eagle NYC 2008. I was joined by Little Tom (Yes, it was a "Little" night out).
Team Eagle is participating in Braking the Cycle, a three-day bike ride to raise money for the NYC LGBT Center's HIV/AIDS Services. To raise additional money outside of rider sponsorship, they held a Chinese auction (I'm not fond of this term, but no one has offered a substitute so I have to describe it as such) at the Eagle featuring, well, Eagle-type stuff. Festively wrapped gift baskets contained lube, leather gear, porn, liquor and other assorted party favors.
This wasn't a standard auction, hence the ethnically tagged modifier. The way it worked was that an item was put up for bid and the auctioneer would ask for bids in small denominations, say $1 or $5. If you were interested you called out your bid and one of the auction helpers would collect that $5, then the next person would bid their $5, then someone else, then someone else, then maybe you again, and whoever was last to bid their $5 won the item. So if you played strategically, you could try and wait until it looked like the bids had dried up and only pay $5, or you could bid a few times and end up paying something like $25. Even if you didn't win the item, the money you bid went to the auction proceeds. That way, the item may have gone for $25, but the charity raised possibly $75 including the non-winning bids. Make sense?
Between Tom and I, we spent over $160 and didn't manage to win anything. But it was for a good cause and the auctioneer (whose name I can't remember) was very funny and knew how to keep the bidding going and so we all had a great time. Plus one of the items was a pair of vinyl biker shorts modeled by a super hot daddy (whose name I can't remember) who later removed them after they'd been won. Woof.
In all, the event raised over $3,000, towards the Team's total goal of $100,000. They are currently at just over $25,000 so if you want to help them out, and also check out pics of the team who are woofy in their own right, you can go here.
Go Team Eagle!
Labels: bars, charity, Eagle, gay life
It's Monday so it's time for our second installment of Monday Yiddish, my attempt to broaden your multi-lingual skills as well as my own.
Today's word, or phrase to be exact, is "ta'am gan eyden." The pronunciation is as follows:
Ta-AHM Gahn AY-den
While it's literal translation is "a taste of the Garden of Eden," its meaning is the equivalent of "fabulous." While I know it's a stretch for most of you, see if you can find a way to use it in a sentence.
Here are some examples:
"Tony, did you make that t-shirt? It's ta'am gan eyden!"
"Have you tried Foxy's bacon cake? It is simply ta'am gan eyden."
"I just listened to Madonna's new album. Ta'am gan eyden."
Now it's your turn. Why not work it into your next business presentation?
What does a good kitty-daddy do when he gets home at 3AM on a Sunday night, after helping his community theater strike the set for their recent production, and realizes he forgot to get fresh kitty litter and the litter box is a disaster? He puts his coat back on and goes back out to the 24-hour Pathmark and picks up a 20lb container and lugs it back home.
You don't want to know how tired I am today.
I taught a 1 1/2 hour yoga class this morning at 10AM.
Then, since I had a bit of time to kill before the 2AM theater matinee I attended, I did a half hour of cardio and some pull-ups, push-ups and sit-ups (actually, anything that had an -up in it).
This may have not been the best plan, as I nodded off during the first act of the Albee double-bill I caught of "The American Dream" and "The Sandbox." While the plays themselves were a bit obtuse, the acting was enjoyable and both one-acts featured a very hot young guy.
Then I took another 1 1/2 hour yoga class that a friend was teaching. I'm beat.
Labels: fitness, theater, yoga
I saw Iron Man last night and loved it. Of course, coming from a guy who sees on average no more than 10 movies a year, you can take this rave review with a grain of salt.
Robert Downey Jr. is terrific in the lead and Gwyneth Paltrow is quite enjoyable in the role of the female love interest, although it is a rather low-key love interest, which I actually thought worked well and left potential for a lot more in future movies (yes, there are plans already for two more pics in the franchise). Jeff Bridges and Terrence Howard are great as well. It really is quite a stellar cast as far as acting chops go.
The action sequences are entertaining without being gratuitous and I have to add that seeing it with an audience chock full of Marvel comic fans (there is no other explanation for their reactions) certainly added to the experience. Plus there is an actual story that makes sense and isn't that convoluted to follow. Downey's dialogue is full of clever blink-and-you'll-miss-em quips and while he's not pumped up to the level of Tobey Maguire hotness, he has some pretty impressive guns, and not just the ones in the metal suit.
All in all an extremely enjoyable experience.
Ran a bunch of errands today.
Last week, before my iPod earbuds died on me I decided to get a new pair. Since the standard earbuds don't feel totally secure in my ears, I decided to upgrade with these.
Big mistake. Even though they come in three fancy-schmancy sizes none of them or any combination of them would stay in my ears unless I stayed absolutely motionless. Even if I just turned my head, one or both would fall out. It was so irritating I basically didn't use my iPod for the past week. I finally exchanged them for a new pair of the standard earbuds. They sound and fit just fine. Serves me right; upgrades are rarely ever worth it.Then I grabbed a quick slice of pizza before heading to the barbershop. I stood on the corner by the shop eating the slice. Across the street was a Public School that must have been having gym class because all these kids were running around the block over and over, like it was a race track (welcome to urban living). As I stood eating my pizza and watching I realized I probably looked like a child predator, so I made a point of looking everywhere but at the kids.
Got a nice quick and cheap cut ($9.50!) from an old Ukrainian guy. There are about three no-frills barber shops on the street where I work, all offering cheap cuts for under $15. Love it.
I have a meeting from hell at 3:30PM today. Even though I'm not responsibility for the event, I hate Gala season because everyone is always stressed out. Ugh.
Seeing Iron Man tonight! Yes, an actual movie. In a theater. The last one I saw was Sweeney Todd. Have a great weekend everyone.
Labels: odds and ends
You can always rely on kittens and babies.
Here are my babies. Bart and Lisa have recently discovered that the bed is actually a great place for a nap. They have even taken to joining me when I settle down for the night. Bart gets all up in my face and Lisa discreetly positions herself out of arms reach, but they both enjoy snuggling down. That is until the urge once again strikes to run around the apartment knocking the snot out of each other.In other new creature news, here are the three most recent additions to my extended family that had their debut at our annual Schneider Clan Seder:
Jasper
Nathan (with Mommy Julie and Daddy Jim)
Nathaniel (solo and with Daddy Andy and Mommy Carrie)
My family is almost painfully attractive.And here is my Mommy:
Labels: babies, family, kittens
There really should be an entrance exam for public activism.
Thanks to him, for the heads-up.
Labels: activism, Olympics, stupidity
Nothing special to hook into for this week. But I have had time to really stock up the various categories, so moving forward I will have no problem maintaining the ethnic diversity that keeps this interesting for me. And hopefully stimulating for you.
Have at 'em.
Labels: hot guys, tent pitch
Via Father Tony, I have a list of some of the out-of-towners who will be joining the scads of local bloggers gathering over the weekend of May 16-18 for the GB5 meet-up. The attendees list reads like a page out of the Gay Bloggers Who's Who (as in "Who? Never heard of him.") including: Boston
Dulce y Peligroso
Atari Age
Evil Ganome
DC
Mike in the Middle Ages
Chicago
Tater
Albany
Why oh Why?
Arizona
Homer's World
Oregon
Scuff Productions
Salt Lake City
Protean
Minnesota
The Mangina Monologues
North Carolina
Boy Wonder
Miami
The South Beach Bum
and others who perhaps have not formally notified the proper authorities. This in addition to another lengthy list of folks from the Tri-State Area.
The itinerary is here. Additional info here and here. There is plenty of room for more, so if you can come, if only for Friday night, or to hang around the entire weekend, please let us know or just show up!
Labels: gay bloggers, GBNYC
"As a believing Christian, I see the hand of God in everything that happens here on earth, both the blessings and the curses. But ultimately neither I nor any other person can know the mind of God concerning Hurricane Katrina. I should not have suggested otherwise. No matter what the cause of the storm, my heart goes out to all who suffered in this terrible tragedy. There but for the grace of God go any one of us."
- Rev John Hagee, who endorsed John McCain, in a recent retraction
Meanwhile...
Speaking before an audience that included Marion Barry, Cornel West, Malik Zulu Shabazz of the New Black Panther Party and Nation of Islam official Jamil Muhammad, Wright praised Louis Farrakhan, defended the view that Zionism is racism, accused the United States of terrorism, repeated his view that the government created the AIDS virus to cause the genocide of racial minorities, stood by other past remarks ("God damn America") and held himself out as a spokesman for the black church in America...Wright suggested that Obama was insincere in distancing himself from his pastor. "He didn't distance himself," Wright announced. "He had to distance himself, because he's a politician, from what the media was saying I had said, which was anti-American."
We are fucked.
Labels: elections, politics, religion
I've decided to try out a new feature here at Someone in a Tree. The reason is two-fold:
1. To offer readers a little language lesson in Yiddish. Many people use, and misuse and mispronounce, Yiddish terms in their daily conversation. They think they are being cleverly ethnic-inclusive but they often make me shudder. Nothing sounds more inauthentic than someone pronouncing "tuchus" with a hard 'k'. ~shudder~
2. To strengthen my own Yiddish language skills. I grew up with very little Yiddish spoken in my family, despite the fact that both my grandmothers were fluent in Yiddish. Sadly neither felt it important to impart this cultural element to their children or grandchildren. They both wanted their progeny to be American, and not so "Jewy," as my friend Kevin would put it. As a result my knowledge of Yiddish is woefully under-developed. So this will help me as much as it hopefully will entertain you.
Today's term, as I'm feeling a bit old today, is Alter Kaker. It means an old man, and in particular, a crotchety and creaky old man; the kind that tells you to get off his lawn, walks around in Bermuda shorts and black socks with his pants cinched up to his navel, and eats sardines for breakfast.
The correct pronunciation is [AHL-teh CAHK-eh].
Let's use it in a sentence:
At the Black Party, Joe kept complaining about the DJ's selection of music. "Don't be such an Alter Kaker," his friend Jeff said, "it's totally a buzz-kill. Why don't you stop grumbling and go dance with that bear in chaps who's been cruising you for the last ten minutes."
Now it's your turn.
I took an "ultimate bible quiz" after seeing it on Torn's site. Here is my score:
Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!
Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes
What's your Bible IQ? I bet it's higher than you think.
Labels: